Now and then
by Howlinchickhowl
Summary: Griss and Sara reflect on how their relation ship has changed since they met
1. Default Chapter

Title: Now and Then  
  
Author: Prawncocktailflavouredcashewnut.  
  
Summary: Grissom and Sara reflect on how their relationship has changed since they met.  
  
Genre: Grissom/Sara romance  
  
Archive: Take it if you want, though I can't imagine why you'd want it  
  
Authors note: This is my first ever fanfiction, and also the first piece of writing I've done that I've let anyone else but my sister read so if you want to review, I welcome constructive criticism but please be gentle. I know that this piece moves a bit slow but I just needed to get everything in there and I didn't know how else to do it. Also, the character of Mark may seem completely pointless but I promise you that later on in the story he is significant.  
  
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the show CSI, nor do I own any of the characters in this fic- except for Mark, Jake, Hildi, Trisha and Casey. So basically I own all of them except for Grissom and Sara. I intend no infringement on the creators of the show or the actors who portray the characters, so please don't sue!  
  
Enjoy!!!!!  
  
  
  
Sara sat at the bar of the coffee shop finishing her coffee, she looked around her saw her friends who worked there walking over to her; there were no more customers to serve, it was early for students. It was early for her!  
  
"Geez girl, what are you doing out of bed before 10:30?"  
  
Her roommate was genuinely shocked to see her; she usually didn't surface 'til noon.  
  
"I've got a lecture." She replied groggily, she was still half asleep. "You've always got a lecture, you just don't show up for them."  
  
"Yeah, well I'm showing up for this one." She snapped. She wasn't exactly sure why she was up so early, or why indeed she was going to the lecture. Well, she knew it was something to do with that guy, she just didn't feel like explaining it to her friends when she wasn't even sure she understood it herself. Mark came up behind her, until then he had been collecting glasses and plates from the empty tables, he set them down on the bar and took a seat next to her, " What's it on?" He asked, "It's a study of Entymological advances in forensics and their involvement in the decomposition of corpses." Sara looked up from her coffee to find 4 blank faces staring back at her, Hildi's mouth had dropped open slightly and Jake's brow was creased like it did when he tried to divide big numbers in his head. She shook her head and smiled a little, "How bugs affect a dead body."  
  
"Oh, now I understand," Trisha returned to her normal vague expression, * Probably wondering what to wear to the party tonight* Sara mused to herself. She wouldn't be going, but she knew everyone else was looking forward to it immensely, the last party of the semester was always a big deal, especially when coming from the Alpha Delts; The wildest most notorious frat on campus. Hildi's voice aroused her from her thoughts. "Well I still don't understand, I thought you hated bugs!" Her roommate was confused, but not as confused as she was. "I do hate bugs!"  
  
"So why are you going then?"  
  
"She's in love with her professor." Sara threw Jake a look that said he was pathetic and that he didn't get to her one bit. "I'm not in love with him," she stated exaggeratedly, "I just like listening to him, O.K.?"  
  
None of them noticed as the handsome forty-ish man entered, they were all facing away from him and there was no bell on the door. He was about to say something when he heard the boy's remark about someone having a crush on a professor, thinking it might be wise to know, in case it got out of hand and he had to report it, he just stood there waiting for them to notice him.  
  
"You like listening to him talk about bugs?" The blonde addressed the brunette; she thought this last statement of her friends was very confusing. But when she spoke about bugs, Grissom's attention was caught, they were talking about him! He looked to the brunette girl for an answer, as apparently was everyone else.  
  
Sara felt everyone's eyes on her, she was annoyed that she was being forced to answer a question she didn't know the answer to, it hardly ever happened to her. She tried to explain her attraction to this man as best as she could. "Yes-no-oh I don't know. I just like listening to him talk. He's fascinating. He brings a kind of raw, unrefined enthusiasm to everything he says. His eyes glisten when he gets excited and he makes you want to listen because everything he says is worth knowing, even if it doesn't make any sense." Once again she was granted with blank faces. "What do you mean, even if he doesn't make any sense?" Mark was puzzled, he'd never seen Sara worked up over a guy before, it scared him that she might fall for her professor when there were plenty of guys her age around dying for a crack at her, when there was him. Sara was becoming exasperated, she knew she didn't make sense but she didn't know how to say what she wanted to without sounding like a crazed freak. "The guy's cryptic, he'll say something and you won't know what it means but you know that it's important and one day you'll be able to use it. Anyway it's not so much what he says that I'm interested in, he just makes it all so exciting. I could listen to him talk all day." Now she had a smile on her face thinking about him, and her urge to just be near him. Her smile however faded when she saw Trisha looking at her like she was insane. "About Bugs." She said, it wasn't really a question as a –I'm just clarifying that you're a psycho loony- statement, but Sara felt compelled to answer. "Not just about bugs, anything. I bet the guy could talk about garden furniture for three hours and everyone would still be on the edge of their seats."  
  
Grissom smiled, this girl thought he was fascinating, that made him almost giggle. She sounded completely serious and her enthusiasm towards him was incredible, he'd never seen it before, except of course in him, with his bugs, but he surely couldn't be that interesting, he mused. He decided he wanted to see her face so he spoke. " Well, if you're going to listen to me talk all day you'd better get going, you'll be late." Five heads whipped round to face him.  
  
Sara heard his voice and instantly stood up and turned round. There he was, the man with the incredible eyes, the one thing she hadn't told her friends about (which she was glad of now) was the fact that his eyes made her melt. They were so intense, and they had a devilish twinkle in them when he smiled. She felt her cheeks blush and she felt incredibly stupid as she stood facing the man she had just been spouting about two minutes earlier. *I wonder how much he heard*  
  
The girl looked absolutely mortified at his presence. She was slowly turning a deep shade of purple, it made her look pretty. Grissom studied her as she struggled to regain her composure. She was tall and thin, dark brown hair pulled back in a pony-tail, nothing he hadn't seen a hundred times before, but from hearing her speak, Grissom could tell there was something about this girl that set her apart from the thousands of faces he saw every day. He smiled and waited while she looked up, down, to the side and behind her. Then she looked straight into his eyes, saw what was to become later known to her as his famous half smile and broke out into an incredible grin as she suppressed a giggle, she put her head in her hands and took in a long breath. The others watched this display in disbelief, none of them had ever seen Sara embarrassed and rarely speechless so this was a sight to be observed and recorded.  
  
"Like I said, you're going to be late." This caused Sara to look up and she saw the challenging, teasing look in his eyes. She rose to his bait, "Well you're late too." She returned the look and raised her eyebrows. Everyone except Grissom knew that this was her flirting face, they'd seen it many times before, they all turned to see his reaction. Grissom saw everyone look at him and realized he was supposed to keep playing the game, "I'm the professor, I can't be late." He replied thinking he'd find her speechless. But the rest of them knew Sara better than that, this guy was a fool if he thought he was gonna win with something as feeble as that. "Technically," Sara began knowing that what she was doing was dangerous and that she was going to get stick for it, but there was something about him that wouldn't let her stop, "It doesn't matter what time I get there, I'm not late until I come in after the authority figure." She finished her statement so matter-of-factly that he couldn't help but laugh. * Yeah! Score Sara! * She thought and her smile turned to a look of smug satisfaction. " I give up!" Grissom held up his hands and smiled a full smile, his eyes twinkling. "You're too smart for me." They looked at each other, straight in the eyes. Neither could think of anything to say, so they just stood transfixed until Hildi broke in with, "Can I get you some coffee?"  
  
Grissom averted his eyes from the enthusiastic intelligent young girl in front of him just long enough to say that he wanted an iced tea before turning back to the girl. He reached out his hand in order to shake hers, "Gil Grissom." He said as she took it. "Sara Sidle," she replied, "and I know who you are Mr. Grissom." He'd almost he forgotten the conversation he had overheard which had led to this entire discussion. "Of course you do," he stated, "I'm fascinating." He grinned, Sara looked mortified and Jake, the model of refinement, started laughing and managed to squirt milk out of his nose. Everyone laughed. Hildi handed the man his drink and he handed her some change, never once taking his eyes from Sara. Mark noticed this and walked off, in a moody fashion. "Walk you to class?" He offered. Gil didn't know why but he felt a strange urge to stay near her as long as possible. "Sure." Sara smiled at him, she didn't know why but she just couldn't stop grinning. He turned around and they were just about to walk out when Jake called to her, " Hey S, you comin' to the party tonight?" Sara smiled, Jake was a dedicated Frat boy and was determined to drag her to one of his parties, she pitied the boy, she knew and he knew that he'd never win. She turned to face him, Grissom did the same. "Jake, is the sky blue? Do birds fly? Is Sesame a street?" Everyone smiled; only Grissom didn't know that her answer meant the exact opposite to what she had said. "I'll take that as a no then." Jake hung his head disappointed and then looked up just in time to see her cock her finger like a gun, smile, wink and sweep out of the room with Grissom following. "Nice try Jake." Hildi called across the room. * the poor thing's never gonna give up hope, but he'll never get her away from her microscope to realize there are a hundred guys out there who'd love to do her* She glanced around the room to see Mark staring into a cup of coffee. *Or one that's completely in love with her, poor baby* She smiled and walked into the back to start washing up.  
  
Grissom and Sara walked along in silence, neither really knowing what to say. He studied her closely as she walked, she was graceful, lively even though she wasn't speaking he could tell. There was a spark in her eyes that he'd never really seen before, it drew him to her. Sara could feel his eyes on her as they moved; she turned to face him and looked straight at him. He looked back at her inquisitively, they had stopped walking. "Do you study everyone you meet so closely?" She asked, she didn't mean to be rude but he was starting to make her uncomfortable, she didn't like to be scrutinized. He looked taken aback by her comment, almost shocked. He didn't realize she'd noticed. * Of course she noticed Gil you idiot, this is the girl who just outsmarted you ten minutes ago! * He was about to comment on his behavior when Sara looked away from him. She turned to see her other roommate Casey running towards her shouting her name. She finally caught up to them, she studied the couple, Sara looked much like she always did, maybe a little flushed, but the man she was with looked put out, almost annoyed the intrusion. "What's up Case?" Sara asked, * it must be important if she ran all the way over here * Casey looked at her friend, a grin started to break onto her face, "I brought your mail, thought you might like to see, there's something there from San Fran Sisco." Sara's face went white, she looked worried as Casey gave her the letter and started to walk away. "Oh and by the way, your mother called, four times already!" She called back across the lawn. "Y'I bet she did." Sara called back, not taking her eyes off the white envelope she had in her hands. "She says next time if you don't pick up she's coming over." This made Sara look up; she made a sarcastic face, "From California?" Her friend laughed. " Sara this is the woman who once flew back from Dublin because Phil forgot to feed her dog!" This made Sara laugh, *Yeah but she cared more about that dog than she does me* "Pick it up, O.K.?" Casey had come to a standstill and was now conducting her conversation from almost ten feet away, no one cared. "Yeah, yeah." Sara called out to her and she turned to walk away, but she turned again when she heard Sara's voice. "Hey Case, if I pick up the phone, does that mean I actually have to talk to her?" Casey laughed, waved her hand resignedly and walked away to the sound of her best friend shouting out to her, "What? It was a legitimate question!" Sara turned to see her professor chuckling at her, "Well, it was." Sara laughed at herself. "Oh shoot, now we're really late." She said looking at her watch, then back to her letter. "I'm sure everyone in the bugs and dead bodies class is devastated he said dryly. "What's that?" He nodded towards the letter. Sara looked up to see what he was talking about, "Oh! I um, I applied for an internship at the San Fran Sisco Crime Lab." She looked back down at the letter and let out a deep breath, "I think I'm gonna open it later." She looked up and he smiled at her. "You're interested in forensics?" They had started to walk again and he had inclined his body towards her as he spoke. " Oh yeah!" she said and her face looked up and he saw that same enthusiasm in her he had back in the coffee shop. They talked about forensic science the rest of the way to class. When they reached the door, there were people still milling in, some talking excitedly, others sitting in their chairs laughing and talking. Grissom turned towards her, raised his eyebrows and smiled, "See," he said "devastated." She laughed and shook her head; she walked off to where her seat was, at the back. Grissom watched her go, then he turned and walked towards his desk. During the lecture he made eye contact with her a lot. She thought it was because he was making sure she was paying attention, but really, for some inexplicable reason, he just couldn't stop looking at her, to tell the truth, he just didn't want to. 


	2. Grissom, Sara and a peace offering

Title: Now and then; Grissom, Sara and a peace offering.  
  
Author: Prawncocktailflavouredcashewnut  
  
Spoilers: Burden of proof  
  
Summary: Griss and Sara reflect on their relationship and how it's changed  
  
Genre: Grissom/Sara Romance  
  
Archive: Take it if you want but can't imagine why  
  
Author's note: Cheers for all the reviews, I've tried to take what you said into account, if there's anything else please tell me, but it was a total confidence booster. This chapter's a bit more angsty than the last, but again , I need to get where I'm going to so bear with me. Once again, Mark will feature soon, but we're not quite there yet. If there's anything else you want me to put in please tell me, always open to suggestions. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1  
  
  
  
  
  
He looked at her now, her face thin and pale, circles around her eyes staring straight ahead her eyes never meeting his, he wondered what had happened to the lively, enthusiastic young girl he'd met almost 6 years ago, the one he couldn't take his eyes off. He glanced from her to the document he held in his hand- Request for Leave of Absence- he flinched at the sight of it. Then he looked back at her again.  
  
Sara stood in his office waiting for him to say something, she hated the silence. Usually they could share a comfortable silence together, but this was difference, it wasn't comfortable, it was brittle. Normally they were silent because they didn't need to speak, they had their own unique form of communication, but now they didn't speak because they didn't know what to say to each other, something that had never happened before. So they stood in his office.  
  
Grissom was tying to think of something to say, but he couldn't say what he wanted to so he ended up mumbling something about the lab and the team needing her, he didn't really know what he was saying, he just kept looking at the piece of paper he was clutching, trying not to show how hurt he was. * how could she do this? Why does she want to leave me? It's not you she's leaving, it's the lab, she wants a better job. Yeah right Gil, she's finally had enough of you being an insensitive asshole and she doesn't want to be near you anymore. Well done, you've managed to push away the one person in this world you truly need. Congratulations *  
  
Sara didn't even listen to him as he talked; she was trying hard not to cry, and even harder not to grab him by the neck and scream at him. * how can he be saying this? Does he really feel nothing for me at all? Well he's not trying to stop me so I guess not. I can't listen too much more of this "the lab needs you" crap, I don't think I can stand it. Oh good he's finished talking, I can go."  
  
Sara got up and walked out of his office, he followed her with his eyes until she was out of sight, then he sat back in his chair, tired and resigned, and closed his eyes.  
  
In the years he had worked with her, Sara had never failed to impress, and shock him with her character, her intelligence and her shrewd observance of him.  
  
She could mostly tell what he was thinking, always when it came to work, and usually with other things too, even though he'd never tell her that. Sometimes he'd let things drop that he didn't mean to, she noticed, but she didn't let on, she just picked up the clue and went on working to solve the puzzle. The puzzle that was Grissom.  
  
But even though he knew a lot about her, there were still some things she'd never told him. Like why she got so worked up over abuse cases and Jane Does. He'd never asked her about it because he never liked to be asked about things, he just figured that one day she would tell him, maybe now she never would. After that first meeting in the coffee shop they had gone out for dinner a lot and stayed in touch when the seminar was over. He would tell her about his cases and she'd give her opinions, which were usually right, and he'd help her with homework. Within a month of knowing each other it had been like forever.  
  
He'd missed her when she got the job in San Fran Sisco and he'd gone to Vegas, but he had felt that they were getting too close, he was too old for her he knew, best to keep his distance, so they hadn't talked for over three years. But then when the job came up at CSI, he immediately thought of her. He told himself it was because she was a good worker, which she was, he'd never seen anyone so dedicated apart from himself. But as soon as he heard her voice on the phone, everything came flooding back, his feelings for her, their goodbye when he had departed for Vegas; she had driven him to the airport. They had waited together for his plane and when the time came for him to get on it, he had actually hugged her. He had hugged her! Then he had turned and left leaving a stunned Sara behind him.  
  
On her first day of work, she had walked in and he had seen her before she saw him, he just stood there, unable to move, unable to breathe. She looked, like Sara, his Sara. When he finally spoke to her he realized that she hadn't changed, same dry humor, same non-verbal communication, and the same huge wide grinned that was only ever directed at him. He had ushered her into the break room, walking behind her, he could smell her shampoo, rosewood, if he remembered correctly. He had introduced her to the others as a very good friend. He had seen Nick and Warrick raise their eyebrows and exchange a look. This had made him draw away from her defensively, she had seen it too, but she had just rolled her eyes and smiled at him. His smile. His Sara.  
  
Over the next year and a half he had worked with her as much as he possibly could without arousing suspicion. He assigned her to most of his cases, no one really thought anything of it, they all just assumed he was looking out for her. Or that they were peas in a pod. They were very alike in many ways; she was as obsessed by her work as much as he was, although for different reasons.  
  
Recently though, things had been strange. Ever since she had touched him. He didn't know why he was getting so worked up about it, it's not like she had crossed any boundaries, he had hugged her! But here was something about it that had scared him. The feel of her fingers on his cheek, so cold but warm at the same time, was that possible? Well anyway, after that he had pushed her away, he didn't speak to her as much and he definitely didn't flirt with her as much as he used to. She noticed, as did everyone else, and he could see it hurt her. Now she wanted to leave, GoGil!  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
  
  
Sara kept on walking as fast as she could; she had to get out, away from him. She reached the last double doors and walked out into the rain. She turned the corner and then broke down into bursting fits of sobs and gulps.  
  
Trying to draw her breath, she rested her head on the wall and thought back over their friendship. She wasn't exactly sure when she had fallen in love with him; she'd known they were getting closer, if he hadn't left when he did she might have done something- something stupid. When he'd hugged her at the airport she had been surprised, but it had felt right. She'd waited as he walked away and then turned. They hadn't promised to stay in touch or anything, just said goodbye, as was Grissom's way.  
  
For the next three years she had worked almost non-stop; it was the only thing she knew how to do. She didn't hear anything from Grissom until one night she had come home from work, struggling with her bag and some take- out, and she had heard the phone ring.  
  
*  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Sara?"  
  
"Speaking" She had recognized the voice but she didn't want to let on.  
  
"It's Gil." Sara's heart rose in her throat, her breath became short and her head started to spin. She sat down on her couch with a hand out to steady her.  
  
"H-hi!" She managed to squeak out. "What's up?" * What's up? What's up with you, you moron!*  
  
"Um, you know how I moved to Vegas? Well they made me supervisor." Sara smiled; he wasn't excited, or bragging, he was just stating the facts as they were – same old Grissom.  
  
"Congrats!" She knew he was smiling on the other end; he hated it when she shortened words. "But that's not why you called me." It wasn't a question, she just knew, like she knew him.  
  
"No it wasn't." She waited for him; he didn't like to be pushed. "There's a question I wanted to ask you, and you can completely say no – but please don't."  
  
"I'll try my best." She was almost laughing, he sounded so nervous, not a state she'd often seen him in.  
  
"There's an opening at the lab here and I want you to join the team."  
  
*  
  
When she had arrived in Las Vegas it had been like old times, laughing, joking, working together. She began to look forward to work again. But then suddenly, she didn't know why, he'd gone cold on her. So she had decided to take some time of to try and clear her head. She had requested a leave of absence. That was how she had ended up crying in the rain.  
  
Sara stood back up; she had to get out of there. She walked into the break room to find Catherine having coffee. * Good, just her, no questions.* Catherine looked up and smiled.  
  
"Hey Sara, what's up? You look pale." Her face showed worry for her friend, she had seen her overwork before.  
  
"Yeah, I don't feel so good. Would you tell Grissom I went home to get some sleep?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Thanks." Sara turned around and walked out if the break room. Catherine followed her with her eyes, then got up and went to find Grissom. She found him in his office, buried in paperwork.  
  
"Hey." She ventured at a conversation, Grissom just groaned. "I just saw Sara, she said to say she went home, she didn't look too good."  
  
"O.K" Gil seemed completely uninterested in what she had to say, which was unusual; he'd be worried for the young CSI. Catherine knew something was up.  
  
"What's going on?" Grissom looked up with a questioning look on his face. "Well first of all Sara goes home early, which never happens even if she is sick. Then you act completely disinterested in the fact that she went home which you would usually be questioning me about right about now. So my conclusion is that something has happened between you and Sara that is making you both act strangely." Grissom looked at her then started to search his desk for something. He handed her the document. She read it, her eyes getting wider as she went on. She looked from the paper to Gil and then back to the paper again. "Oh my God!" She looked to him for confirmation, he gave her a slight nod. "Well what did you say to her?"  
  
"What could I say, I told her the lab needs her."  
  
"The lab?"  
  
"Yeah" Catherine looked at him in surprise.  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"She said the lab could find someone else." Grissom sighed and sat back, pulling of his glasses and rubbing his nose. Catherine observe this, it was something he only ever did if he was severely stressed.  
  
"Can we?"  
  
"Of course we can find someone else, it just won't be"  
  
"Her." She finished for him. She wasn't sure what else to say, it wasn't really the time to say anything; best just to leave him to his thoughts. She got up and started to walk out of the room. When she reached the door she turned, "You know, if you asked her to stay, she would."  
  
"I did ask her to stay."  
  
"As her supervisor, for the benefit of the team."  
  
"And as who am I supposed to ask her?"  
  
Catherine smiled at him. "As her friend Gil." She turned and left. Leaving Grissom to think.  
  
The next evening Sara came into work ready to face the world, to face him. She entered the break room and on the table she saw a plant. It was beautiful, * Someone's got an admirer* she immediately thought of Catherine as guys don't usually get flowers. She walked across to the table and looked closer at it; the note was addressed to her. Her breath caught in her throat as she opened the tiny white envelope, the note simply read – From Grissom- Sara put it in her pocket, looked back at the plant and then swept out of the room.  
  
In Grissom's office, him and Catherine were talking.  
  
"Do you think she got it yet?" Catherine asked, she was excited. Ever since Gil had told her what he'd done, she'd been eager to see Sara's reaction.  
  
"She should be here by now so I'm guessing yes." Grissom was being tiresome.  
  
He'd only told Catherine because she'd given him the idea. After she had left, he had remembered an old boyfriend of Sara's, they'd gotten into a huge fight once, she'd stayed mad at him for days. Then he'd sent her an orchid and she had melted. It was the only thing he could think of.  
  
"I wonder what she'll say."  
  
"Looks like we're about to find out." Grissom nodded towards the door; she was approaching. Sara swept into the office, towards the desk. Looked Grissom in the eyes, reached over to the piece of paper he was holding and took it from him. She looked at it, drew in a large breath and ripped it up. She dropped the pieces on the table and walked out.  
  
Grissom and Catherine watched her go. Slowly a smile spread across his face, yeah, she was still his. 


	3. Old Friends

Title: Now and then; Old Friends  
  
Author: Prawncocktailflavouredcashewnut  
  
Summary: Griss and Sara reflect on how their relationship has changed  
  
Genre: Griss/Sara romance  
  
Archive: If you want it take it, just don't know why you would  
  
Author's note: Hey, sorry about the recent severe lack of updatage, but exams, a concert and a really wild party kept me from my computer.So as I promised, Mark returns and he will definitely be a prominent feature in the story from now on. I'm not exactly sure how long this is gonna keep going; I know where I want it to end and I have a lot of ideas, but I'm afraid in putting them in I might drag it out too long, so you'll just have to keep reading and bear with me. Also, I know there's a lot of dialogue in this one, but the conversations were, as is everything else, necessary. Hope you all enjoy it as much as you said you did the last two!  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own them. Although I do own Mark.  
  
  
  
  
  
Three months later, Grissom was walking down the hall towards the break room. He was looking for Nick; he was supposed to be chasing up a piece of evidence, but there was no doubting Grissom's mind that somehow he had gotten distracted. Probably by Warrick and some computer game too tempting to pass up. But instead of the sight he was anticipating, he found Sara and Greg sitting close to each other in a conspiratory manner, huddled over two cups of what smelt like Greg's special coffee. He opened the door and they looked up, suddenly breaking apart. Sara smiled at him, one her big smiles; she'd been giving them to him more recently. Things weren't completely back to normal after she had asked to leave, but they were better than they had been. He smiled back at her and went over to the pot. Greg jumped up and rushed over to were Gil was heading, holding his hand protectively over his coffee.  
  
"Hey, whoa, Griss, we had this discussion!" He made a nervous laughing sound and ran his hands through his hair. "No one touches my coffee."  
  
"Sara's got some." Grissom pointed out and stood waiting for Greg to move aside. Greg looked over at Sara and smiled.  
  
"Yeah well," he turned his face back towards Grissom, "Sara's special." He ducked his head slightly and leaned in towards Grissom as if he was confiding something he didn't want the other party present in the room to hear. Grissom stood back, confused; he turned to look at Sara. She flashed him her best – I'm cute- smile and gave a little shrug. He laughed and shook his head, yes she was. He stepped away and moved towards the normal (disgusting) coffee.  
  
After that there was silence in the room. Not uncomfortable; all three were occupied with their own thoughts. Greg sat back down and had opened his mouth to say something to Grissom when the phone rang. Sara got up to answer it just as Nick walked in. He ran towards the phone waving his arms wildly.  
  
"Me, Me, I got it, me!" He pushed Sara aside caught his breath and picked up the phone, "Michelle?" he asked into the receiver, trying desperately, and failing, not to sound hopeful. Sara laughed at his enthusiasm to answer the phone, usually the guy was as lazy as a pig. She looked at him as he listened to whoever was speaking, smiling and mouthing the words Hot Date? to him. He smiled back at her and rolled his eyes then handed the phone over to her.  
  
"It's for you." He said and walked off looking disappointed. Sara looked confused as she took the phone and put it to her ear.  
  
"Hello?" She hadn't been expecting any calls, she didn't have a clue who it could be.  
  
"Hey S." Came a familiar voice from the other end of the line. "How you doin' girly?" Sara broke into a huge smile and let out a shocked sounding laugh.  
  
"Oh my god, is that who I think it is?" She turned around and started doing baby bounces like a little kid.  
  
"Well that all depends on who you think it is doesn't it?" The voice was playful and she could hear a smile in it. This caused her to smile even more.  
  
"Mark, stop mucking around, and just say hi already." She was pretending to sound cross but a laugh played into her last word blowing her cover. This last remark made Grissom look up. When he heard her say the name Mark he recognized it. Mark was one of Sara's friends from college. Grissom remembered him as the tall dark haired boy who had worked at the coffee shop with one of Sara's roommates. The thing that had made him look up was how she had said it. From what he could remember, Sara and Mark had been pretty close. He had been one of the very few people who had actually known her well; and she used to talk to him about things. Grissom had always suspected a form of attraction; it made him uneasy. He turned his attention back to the phone call, trying to glean what information he could so as to avoid quizzing her about it later.  
  
"I already did say hi!" Mark told her.  
  
"You did?"  
  
"Yes, and I asked how you were too. Geez Sidle, call yourself an investigator?" He laughed at her.  
  
"Criminalist, actually." She corrected him. God it was good to hear his voice again. "Why are you calling me?" She heard him laugh on the other end.  
  
"Hey Mark, how are you doing? What have you been up to for the past four years? What are your views on Hildi's elopement?" He asked himself. Sara rolled her eyes.  
  
"Hey Mark, how are you doing? What have you been up to for the past four years? What do you think about Hildi's elopement? Why are you calling me?" The last part was said in an exasperated, whiny voice; very un-Sara. Mark realized he had better stop messing around before she started whining in earnest. Sara on the warpath was not a pretty sight.  
  
"I'm fine, thank you for asking. For the past four years I have been doing extensive research into the subject of the build up of bacteria in the water in Romania. As for Hildi, I happen to think that that insane Russian violinist that she ran off with is perfect for her and I hope she's happy. And to get back to your original question of why I'm calling, it's because I wanted to invite you to my wedding." Greg and Grissom watched as they saw Sara's mouth drop and her eyes grow wide.  
  
"You're getting married? To who? When did this happen? When is this happening? Is she rich? Is she a she? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" The two men looked at each other and laughed; they rarely saw Sara this exited, it was fun to watch her jump up and down and tuck her hair behind her ear as she talked. She was normally so reserved, and even when she occasionally let go of her inhibitions towards people, she was still withdrawn. But this was a whole different person to the Sara they knew; the one they saw every day. She was like a little girl, asking so many questions.  
  
"Yes I'm getting married, to Becky. I asked her in June, the wedding's on Saturday, I don't think I should answer that question due to the fact that it's personal, yes, I'm pretty sure she's a she from what I've seen, and I didn't tell you sooner because you, Sara Sidle are a very hard person to find." He stopped to gasp for breath. Sara's face became puzzled.  
  
"Wait a second there, who did you say you were marrying?"  
  
"Becky." He said simply.  
  
"Becky? Becky who?"  
  
"Rainer."  
  
"Becky Rainer, how do I know that name?" Sara racked her brains for the memory she was searching for. Suddenly an old song popped into her head and she started to smile.  
  
"Oh my God!" She struggled to control her laughter as she recited the words that had been on everyone's lips her last year of college. "Rebecca Rainer, she's insaner than a dog. That Becky Rainer?"  
  
"Yes that Becky Rainer, and before you ask she no longer smells "suspiciously of hog", if that's what you were wondering."  
  
"I didn't say anything." She said with mock innocence, although that had been what was on her mind.  
  
"Whatever you didn't, do you want to come to my wedding or not?"  
  
"Don't be stupid, of course I'm coming to your wedding you minpin." He laughed at the sound of her old nickname for him. Sara wasn't usually one for nicknames, but she had accidentally called him that once when she was mad and couldn't think of anything else to say, it had stuck.  
  
"Good, coz we're having a party tomorrow, just the old guys from Henderson hall, so you have to be there." Sara smiled and was about to accept the offer to see her old friends again when she thought of something.  
  
"Wait, is this just one of Jake's attempts to get me at one of his parties? Coz if it is it's not going to work."  
  
"No, definitely not, it's just lunch, at the Hilton. Very upscale, fancy- dress, and a good-looking date, if you please." Sara sighed.  
  
"I have to bring a date?" that was a set back. She wasn't exactly in the market for eligible, good-looking men, what with hanging around dead bodies all night.  
  
"Well, you don't have to, I just thought you might like to, everyone else has dates, and I know you hate to be the only alone person at a table with a group of, what do you call them?"  
  
"Smug Marrieds."  
  
"Yeah, so think about finding someone O.K. Do you still see that bug guy?"  
  
"Uh-huh, every night."  
  
"Well, why don't you ask him then?" Sara smiled.  
  
"You think Grissom's good looking?" She asked looking around and smiling at him. He smiled back at her quizzically; he wasn't sure he liked where this conversation was going.  
  
"Well, no. I don't personally find him attractive, but from what I can remember, half the girls in your Bugs and Dead Bodies class swooned over him at one time or another, so I guess there must be something about the guy that makes him irresistible to women."  
  
"Yeah, I suppose, but do you really think it's a good idea? I mean he used to be my professor."  
  
"And now he's your friend right?"  
  
"Actually no. He's my boss, Grissom doesn't have friends, only mindless followers intent on figuring out his mystery, whatever that happens to be." She was still looking at Grissom and she smiled as he rolled his eyes at her. He knew she was trying to annoy him into telling her something. It was a practice she employed every couple of months, picking up evidence as she went. A couple of times he had actually let something slip. Good thing too; that girl could be annoying when she tried.  
  
"Whatever, no one else knows that do they? I'm sure the guy will be happy to do you a favor. And what does it matter if people do think it's weird you showing up with him, which I'm sure they won't because we're all friends and everyone who'll be there knows that you guys have a special "love of science" thing going on, but even if they do, who cares? Screw the lot of them, that's what I say!"  
  
"Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say." *Same old Mark, no one can fit as much into one sentence as that guy can. Maybe he's right, screw 'em*  
  
"O.K. I'll see you tomorrow then."  
  
"O.K. Love ya"  
  
"Liar."  
  
She hung up the phone and turned around. By this time Warrick and Catherine had also entered the room and, as far as she could tell, all of them had been listening to their conversation.  
  
"Was that who I think it was?" Grissom asked.  
  
"Who do you think it was?"  
  
"Mark, from college, the guy who was dating the girl with the facial hair." Sara smiled at the memory of Lucille; the foreign exchange student mark had fallen so badly in love with that he was willing to overlook her moustache, and what could genuinely believed to be stubble.  
  
"Yes that was Mark. He's getting married on Saturday."  
  
"To who?" He already knew the answer, but he didn't want Sara to think that he was as nosy, or as interested in her personal life, as the others.  
  
"Becky Rainer."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"You remember Becky. Smelt kinda weird, she only came to your lectures once every three weeks, coz that's when Jack went to work." Grissom looked thoughtful.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
"Jack Kincaid. Short guy, didn't have much in the way of clothes; always wore the same jeans and a hoodie."  
  
"No, I didn't know him." Sara looked at him,  
  
"Yes you did." She nodded matter of factly. "You were his mentor for almost a year and a half."  
  
"I was."  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"Oh." The confused look on his face caused Catherine to laugh.  
  
"Getting' slow in your old age Griss?" He made a face at her and then decided to take the subject in another direction.  
  
"So, Mark thinks I'm good looking huh?" Sara laughed. Usually, this would have been the perfect opportunity to ask him about the lunch, but somehow she couldn't do it with everyone in the room. Especially not Greg; he would have made a huge deal about it. Nick and Warrick would have been more discreet, simply raising their eyebrows at one another, but it was a reaction, no matter how subtle. And Catherine would simply look at Grissom waiting for an answer with a worried expression on her face. She had seen that look on Catherine's face a lot in the last year and a half. She didn't really want to see it again right now. No she would wait and ask him later; when they were alone. She realized Grissom was still looking at her for an answer, so she just nodded,  
  
"Oh, he thinks you're a stone fox." She laughed and walked out of the room.  
  
Walking down the hall, Sara remembered the last time she had seen all the guys at the same time. It had been a while; during the senior year, Jake and Trisha had been involved in a turbulent relationship that had ended badly, ever since then it had been hard to get everyone together without it ending in a shouting match that usually ended in one of them storming out swearing that they'd kill the other, after the last time, two and a half years ago, they had just stopped trying. It was easier to just keep in touch with everyone separately; easier, but not as fun. She missed the group, as a whole. They had been the best friends she had ever had; they had accepted her for who she was, with all her quirks and strangenesses they had still treated her like she was a normal person, even though she knew she didn't belong, but it had been nice to feel like she did for a while.  
  
Mark had always been her confidant, the guy she had told almost everything to. He would listen to her talk for hours about something she knew he wasn't even remotely interested in. He could always make her smile, even after she had had a huge fight with her mother; one word from him, if it was the right one, could cheer her up, and he usually had the right one.  
  
Jake had been like the little brother she had never had, or wanted. But she was glad he was there to muck around with. In the times when she had been frustrated, or annoyed or even just overtired, she would go to the coffee shop and just pick a fight with him; and he'd let her because he knew that she needed it. He never questioned her; he just picked up the banter and waited for her to get over it.  
  
Trish was the one she could make fun of. She didn't dislike her, but they could never have been good friends. Their mentalities were too different. Trish was into the pretty things in life, flowers and dresses and pink. Pink! Sara could never stand pink, that's one of the reasons she never went into Trish's room; everything was pink! Sara didn't mean to be cruel to the poor girl, but there were just some opportunities that were too good to pass up and she often found herself saying things that weren't too clever. But Sara wouldn't trade her from the group for anything; she was a part of what made them. A gathering wouldn't be a gathering if Trish wasn't there to blurt out something completely irrelevant to the conversation and make everyone laugh.  
  
Hildi was possibly the only rational person Sara had met at college- excluding Grissom. She wasn't like the others, she could have a conversation that didn't include sex, beer, drugs or relationships. It was good to just talk to her, light talk. She didn't like having serious talks with Hildi; Sara found her altogether to emotional, anything remotely intense and the girl would break down in tears-it was too much.  
  
Then there was Casey; the closest thing Sara had ever had to a best friend. She could turn to Case for almost anything-she'd known her practically her whole life, although they didn't really become friends until the Sophomore year of high school, when the mutual hatred of a classmate had caused them to work together to beat him in a science project competition; ever since then they had been friends. Casey knew most of what there was to know about Sara, she was the only one who did. Sara had always stood up for her in arguments, as Casey wasn't too good at confrontations, and it was what Sara did best. She always worried that Casey might know a little too much about her, be a little too close for comfort; Sara was pretty much a loner, she didn't like people to get too close; when they did she felt suffocated. But that didn't happen with Case, maybe it was because they hardly ever saw each other anymore, neither of them had really grasped the whole, keep in touch concept, it was too hard.  
  
It was the end of the shift, Grissom was finishing off the paperwork in his office, when there was a knock on the door and he saw Sara's figure in his doorway. She looked nervous, tentative, she was hovering. He smiled at her encouragingly.  
  
"What's up?" Sara took hi smile as sufficient encouragement to enter the room, she perched herself on the edge of a chair and looked down, concentrating on her hands.  
  
"Um, you know Mark called today?"  
  
"Yeah." She looked up into his eyes, the windows to the soul. *Grissom's windows must be the kind where you can only see out of*  
  
"Well, you see, he's having a lunch thing tomorrow, and he wants me to go. Only from what he said, it's going to be me, the happy couple, and a bunch of smug marrieds. So in the interest of me not dying of complete and utter boredom, do you wanna come?" Grissom started. That had not been what he was expecting. He looked at the young girl in front of him; her eyes full of fear and hope, and he took a leap.  
  
"Sure." Came his reply.  
  
  
  
TBC…. 


	4. Reunions and Regurgitations

Title: Now and then  
  
Author: Prawncocktailflavouredcashewnut  
  
Summary: Griss and Sara reflect on how their relationship has changed since they met  
  
Genre: Griss/Sara Romance  
  
Archive: If you want it take it  
  
Author's notes: So I finally finished chapter 4. So many things delaying me, but with any luck chapter 5 will be up soon two, as I'm so involved in this story that I'm bunking school tomorrow in order to continue it- thank me! I just reread this and I got so mad- it's incredible, this took me like three days to write, and you can read it in a space of five minutes or so! Growl! Cheers again for the reviews, keep them comin' and I hope you all enjoy the latest instalment of my little game. Oh yeah, more Warrick and Nick in this episode!  
  
  
  
Sara looked at herself in the mirror; she looked, nice, she finally decided. Yeah, nice. She had gone home that morning and had done some serious digging in her wardrobe until she had found what she was looking for; a black, square-neck strap dress with a single red rose embroidered up the side. Her favourite dress; she had never worn it, only bought it in case she might need to wear it, thank God. It had been an impulsive thing, something she didn't usually do, but she had seen it in the shop and bought it, she'd never even tried it on, until now. And it looked, nice. Sara never thought much about looking nice. She always tried to look respectable; but nice was a whole different thing. Catherine always looked nice; no strike that Catherine always looked perfect. Immaculate make-up, and she was just at the right border between sexy and dominatrix slut- it looked good. Sara sighed as she applied her lipstick; it was a darker shade than usual, a deep purple to accent the colour in the dress, it made her look different. Almost vampirish she thought. She smiled at the reflection and closed her locker. She walked over to the door, opened it, and walked straight into Warrick.  
  
"Damn Girl, slow down." He started, he had been looking at the ground. She watched his expression as he noticed her feet in a pair of strappy sandals, and then proceeded to move his eyes up her body until he reached her face. "Damn girl." Was all that came out. She looked at him, challenging him to say something else. He broke into a grin and let out a low deep laugh.  
  
"Nicky, come here." He called in the direction of the break room; he craned his neck back so as to see where his friend was.  
  
"What's up?" Came Nick's reply from somewhere down the hall. Warrick looked back at her with a sly smile and then turned back to talk to Nick again.  
  
"Sara's got legs."  
  
"What?!" Sara could here his footsteps running down the hall. She rolled her eyes and hit Warrick on the arm as Nick turned the corner. He stopped when he saw her, quickly surveying his sight. He raised his eyebrows and let out a low whistle.  
  
"Man, Sara, where you bin hiding them?" This constituted an annoyed look from her and another punch for Warrick as he started chuckling.  
  
"Ow." He looked at her and winced.  
  
"Baby." Nick had moved towards them now and a grin had spread across his face, he pointed at her and started dancing around.  
  
"Someone's got a date." He started in a singsong voice, he repeated it with more jumping around and excitedly hopping from one foot to another. Sara looked at him with disgust.  
  
"I do not have a date. O.K.?" Warrick flashed a whatever look, and Nick just continued singing.  
  
"Nicholas, what are you doing?" Grissom's voice cut into their conversation; Nick stopped dancing and turned around looking slightly embarrassed.  
  
"Nothing boss." Grissom looked at Sara for an explanation, she simply shrugged and made the loopy sign with her finger. Warrick saw this and decided to explain the situation to Grissom, maybe see how they both would react to that.  
  
"Well, you see Griss," He began, clearing his throat and placing his hands behind his back in an official way, "Sara here has a date and she's refusing to admit it, so my trusted companion Nicholas and I decided to try a little experiment; namely, annoying the hell out of her until she did, so if you'll excuse us we would like to get back to solving the case, seeming as she was about to crack." He gave a short, toothy smile and turned back towards Sara. He smiled sweetly at her and she was about to return the sentiment when Grissom cut in.  
  
"Sara doesn't have a date." He said simply, the boys both turned to look at him and found his expression blank, he was shaking his head. Nick scoffed.  
  
"Yeah right Griss, she just got herself all dolled up and painted her toenails for work." He laughed. "I mean look at the girl, she looks fit for dinner at the Hilton." He laughed to himself and smiled at Warrick.  
  
"Lunch actually." Came Grissom's reply with a short half-smile. Both men snapped their heads to look at him, then at each other, and finally, Sara. She just flashed them a sweet smile, and then laughed at the bemused faces. She turned to Grissom and shrugged. He smiled at her, a full smile.  
  
"Parking lot in ten minutes?" He asked, confirming her earlier plans, she nodded and he began to walk away. Before he had turned the corner he looked round at her, "You look nice." He told her. She did.  
  
"Thanks." Was all she could manage to say. She looked nice, exactly what she had been trying to achieve. She smiled to herself. Then she caught Nick and Warrick staring at her in disbelief. "What?" She asked them, knowing full well what was coming.  
  
"You, and Grissom?" Warrick asked, clearly in shock.  
  
"No, not me and Grissom." She replied dutifully, "Me, Grissom and a bunch of my friends from college, one of whom is getting married, and one of whom, may, or may not smell of hog." She told them.  
  
"Huh?" Came from Nick. He had wrinkled up his nose and his eyes were half shut, something he only ever did when he was completely confused. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.  
  
"Never mind little brother, I'll explain it all to you when you get back." She patted him on the head and started towards the parking lot. From behind her as she turned the corner she could hear Nick calling out,  
  
"I thought I was the older sibling." He still sounded confused.  
  
"Not so young one." She called back as she exited the building. Once they had heard the door slam Nick and Warrick looked at each other. A realisation came into both their eyes at the same time. Nick was the first one to voice their thoughts.  
  
"Griss."  
  
"Sara."  
  
"Skirt"  
  
Then they looked at each other grinning, and simultaneously said.  
  
"Legs!"  
  
Driving in the car on the way to the hotel, Grissom couldn't keep his eyes off of Sara. *She looks nice? Nice? How lame was that? You said she looked nice. Geez Gil be more distant could ya? * He looked at her again, she was staring out the window, her neck was craned so that she could almost see behind her. He could make out the outlines of her bones slightly protruding from her skin. A small diamond glistened from the hollow at the base of her throat and he could see her chest rising as she drew breath. Her skin was pale, but then what with only ever going out at night it was to be expected. It wasn't a sickly pale, her complexion made her look radiant, beautiful. * Hey look, you found a better word than nice. * He laughed at himself, causing Sara to look round at him. She smiled curiously at him a question in her eyes. He looked back at her and drew in a long breath.  
  
"You really do look-" he let his breath out and crumpled his eyebrows as if searching for something to say,  
  
"Nice?" she helped him out.  
  
"Incredible." Their eyes met and she drew in a sharp breath and looked away. She turned back to the window and smiled, letting out her breath as she did so. Had Grissom just said what she thought he had? Grissom was not a descriptive man, he rarely used words that weren't vague or unmeaning; when he did they were about something that had nothing to do with people, and he had just used an incredibly descriptive word towards her, that had substance. She looked back at him sceptically, surveying his appearance.  
  
"Well you don't look so bad yourself boss." She raised her eyebrows at him and he flushed, "Keep your eyes on the road." She told him, nodding towards the oncoming traffic; he had been looking at her for almost a minute, seeming to forget that he was actually driving into the Las Vegas lunchtime rush. He snapped his head back to the direction he had been going and she turned back to resume her stare out of the window; they were silent for the rest of the journey to the hotel.  
  
Standing in the hotel lobby Sara looked around. She must have been in this hotel fifty times, but she had never really taken in her surroundings. She was always concentrating on the crime scene, taking in specific details instead of the big picture. For the first time she realised what a beautiful place it was, and for the first time, she didn't feel underdressed. She turned to look at Grissom.  
  
"Shall we?" She inclined her head towards the restaurant. He smiled and followed her to the Maitre'd's stand.  
  
"Fawler party?" She asked the man in a white tuxedo and he nodded.  
  
"Yes ma'am, you're the last to arrive." He motioned for them to follow and started to lead them to their table.  
  
"Ready to go to a reunion?" Grissom asked as he came up behind her, taking hold of her elbow in a reassuring manner. She turned to face him with a grin,  
  
"God Griss, you sound like one of those really bad eighties teen bopper movies, "Ready to go to the prom?" What is wrong with you?" they had started walking in the trail of the waiter.  
  
"I was just making sure you wanted to do this."  
  
"Why would I not want to do this?" She looked at him curiously, up until now there had been no doubt in her mind that she wanted to see her friends; she hadn't thought about not doing it.  
  
"It's just that it's been a while, they might have changed is all."  
  
"Yeah right, Grissom this is people like Trisha and Jake we are talking about, that girl is always going to be a prom queen, and he will forever be the lost little frat boy that never found his way back to campus. They're never going to change." As she finished this they reached the table and were greeted by many exclamations of,  
  
"Sara!"  
  
"Oh my God"  
  
"Girl you look incredible!"  
  
"You grew your hair!"  
  
"Isn't that the bug guy?" This last comment came from Trisha and everyone's attention turned to focus on Grissom. Sara turned round to look at him; he was obviously embarrassed by the attention. She forced a bright smile on her face and preparing for the worst, she turned back to her friends.  
  
"Yeah, everyone I'm sure you remember Gil Grissom." She gestured her hand towards him and he came up to stand beside her.  
  
"AKA the bug guy." He added to her comment, everyone laughed, seeming to break the awkwardness that had veiled over the table. Sara and Grissom sat down. Sara was placed next to Casey and Grissom was sandwiched between her and Hildi. This he was thankful for, he had always preferred to talk to her as opposed to any other of Sara's friends. He found her quite a sensible girl and almost enjoyed her company. He smiled at her and she smiled back. *Goin' kinda grey huh? * She gestured to the wine bottle that was in the cooler in the middle of the table. He simply smiled and shook his head at her; he was on duty, even though he rarely drank anyway. While the two were involved in this little exchange, the others had been going round the table introducing their dates, Sara was interested to meet whoever people were seeing, but what she found most intriguing was that Jake and Trisha were sitting next to each other, exchanging civil conversation, and even smiling at each other. Jake noticed her confused look as she continued to look at them.  
  
"What?" He smiled at her as if he knew what her question would be. Trisha was completely oblivious to what she wanted to ask, but then, Trisha was completely oblivious to most things, except for clothes, shoes and the application of the perfect accessories to make every outfit complete. The girl was a walking talking Vogue magazine. Sara took a sip of her orange juice and put on her best game face. She looked at Jake with curious eyes.  
  
"Go on then, spill."  
  
"Spill what? My vodka? Because really honey, I don't think that would get us anywhere, especially as you would be the one to pay for my new one." He made a move to spill his drink. She gave him a look, obviously stating his pathetic ness.  
  
"You know what Jake, I want to know what happened with you two. The last time I saw you both you were screaming at each other and she was trying to run you over with a Land Rover." Everyone at the table laughed at this, remembering Trisha's face as she aimed the car at him and drove with a considerable amount of force until, at the last moment, she had chickened out and drove into a wall. Unfortunately the car had not been her own, she had *borrowed* it off a bald ex-marine who had practically screamed as she had written off his much loved vehicle. Though they laughed about it now it had been rather scary at the time.  
  
"Well, last weekend when Mark called us to invite us to this little gathering, he made us sign a little agreement." Jake nodded towards Mark motioning for him to speak, Mark finished swallowing his scotch and cleared his throat, turning to Sara his face became serious.  
  
"You see, I wanted to make sure this entire business went off smoothly, I did not want to have to be chasing Trish round the church on my wedding day, trying to persuade her not to bash Jake's head in with the communion goblet. It would distract from the original attraction you see."  
  
"And by the original attraction you, of course mean, yourself." Casey cut in with mock approval.  
  
"Of course." Mark said this completely seriously causing everyone else to chuckle, and Becky to hit him on the arm with disgust. "And of course you my dear." He leaned in to kiss her. She nodded in agreement and gave him a short sweet kiss on the lips. He turned his attention back to Sara and continued his story.  
  
"So I made them both agree to a dinner together so they could come to some understanding that would involve them both staying alive and unharmed and my wedding not being ruined."  
  
"So you reached an agreement?" Sara turned back to Jake and Trisha; she was curious to find out what it was that it had taken them six years to work out.  
  
"Yep," Trisha spoke to her for the first time since the bug guy remark. "It' s called sex on Jake's kitchen floor." Grissom, spurted out orange juice from his mouth and went into a coughing fit, Hildi tried to help him by hitting his back. Sara looked mortified as his face continued to turn different shades of purple. * Oh God, please don't let us have to call an ambulance. * Grissom's coughing finally ceased and his face started to return to its original colour; Sara relaxed. For the first time, Hildi spoke.  
  
"Jesus Trish, do you have to be so graphic? You could have killed the guy."  
  
"Well I'm sorry but Sara did ask." Jake took her hand,  
  
"Yes honey, but you could have been a bit more tactful." She scoffed.  
  
"Oh please, tact is just not saying true stuff, I'll pass." With this she started to play with Jake's fingers, kissing each one and finally placing one in her mouth and licking all the way up it.  
  
"Man, Trish, if you're that hungry we could just order already." Sara cut in to the pre-make out session, seeing the worried look on Mark's face; this was a pretty upscale place, and also she just couldn't resist a chance to get a joke in at the girl's expense; one of her favourite pass-times back in college. It brought back memories of good times to be able to make fun of Trish; besides the fact that it was just fun. Sara came out of her thoughts in just enough time to see Trisha flash her a dirty look, and Hildi send a triumphant smile her way.  
  
"That's a good idea actually." Mark motioned the waiter over. "We wanted want you two to be late back to work, and I know Becky's gotta be back sometime this afternoon." He finished speaking as the waiter approached the table.  
  
Half an hour later the food arrived. Sara was observing everyone around the table. Hildi and Grissom were involved in a very intense conversation about Oscar Wilde and she could see the twinkle in his eyes, a sign that he was not to be disturbed. Trisha and Jake were holding hands and talking quietly and intimately holding hands and smiling. Hildi's Russian violinist was vehemently trying to explain something to Casey and she was nodding like she was understanding him, but Sara knew that she didn't get a word he was saying; unfortunately it was something she knew all too well. Sara had spent countless occasions trying to explain some scientific theory to her and got the same mildly confused but always-polite expression that was displayed across her face right now. And Mark and Becky were obviously discussing wedding plans, but they stopped to thank the waiter for the food. Sara chose this opportunity to interrupt their conversation to ask the question she had been dying to ever since she had sat down.  
  
"So Minpin, are you ever going to tell me how you two got together? Because I would have never imagined you and Becky as potential lovebirds." She smiled at the waiter in thanks for her food and took a forkful of her salad, then looked expectantly at him as she waited for an answer. Mark drew in a deep breath and broke into a huge grin.  
  
"I was wondering when you were going to ask that." Becky laughed.  
  
"That's my sweetheart, always looking for a chance to brag about how he caught me." She planted a hand on his arm and squeezed it tight. She took up her fork and started to eat. Mark and Sara exchanged a smile, one of those secret smiles between friends that no one else ever understands. Grissom caught the end of their look and stopped talking. This gave Hildi a chance to observe him more deeply. She studied his expression as he studied the interaction between Mark and Sara, his face was a mixture of surprise, confusion and something that she recognised from Mark's face when he used to watch Sara flirting. Jealousy, she realised was a predominant feature on Grissom's face. Hildi smiled. * And so the tables have turned. * Grissom turned back to her and started to continue their discussion.  
  
Sara was still awaiting an answer from Mark.  
  
"Well? Are you gonna tell me or not?" She asked, taking another bite of her salad.  
  
"Of course I'm going to tell you, as soon as I taste this delicious shrimp." He lifted his fork to his mouth and took a bite of his food. He started chewing and then an incredibly horrified look came over his face. He started to cough and then wheeze, his face turned red and he started waving his hand around wildly. He moved to get up from the table, Becky did the same. He ran out on to the balcony and bent over and continued to cough. Becky stood over him rubbing his back and speaking softly to him. Her phone rang and she moved to answer it. Just then Mark's fit developed into choking, spluttering, phlegm spitting convulsions. Sara got up and rushed to his side. She bent down beside him and said something to him. He nodded to her and she stood up. Tensed her arm, bent her elbow, and hit him hard in the lower back, causing him to regurgitate his shrimp and allowing him to breathe again. The others watched in amazement as Becky got off the phone, spoke to Sara, kissed Mark lightly on the cheek and rushed out of the room. Sara walked back in from the balcony, and stood in front of the rest of the group.  
  
"Bad white sauce?" Casey asked, a worried expression on her face.  
  
"Bad white sauce." Sara confirmed. Grissom and Hildi's violinist were the only ones who didn't understand this last statement. "Mark's allergic to yoghurt." She explained to them and then turned back to Casey. "He's o.k. now, but we're gonna stay out on the balcony for a bit, just to make sure he's alright." Casey nodded and Sara turned to walk back out, on her way she caught Grissom's eye and flashed him a smile. He grinned back at her and, as she moved away from them, he sat back down at the table with the others.  
  
Out on the balcony, Mark had stood up and was now leaning against the balcony staring out at the strip. Sara moved slowly towards him and came to stand beside him, her back to the view and looked at him.  
  
"What?" He said without looking at her.  
  
"You've changed." She was observing him with shrewd eyes, eyes trained to never miss anything. He turned to look at her, a curious smile on his face.  
  
"I have not."  
  
"You have."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well, for a start, you're more confidant than you used to be. And you're smarter. I mean, that thing with Jake and Trish. That was clever. I never would have thought of that." He smiled at her and turned back to the view.  
  
"Yeah, that was pretty good huh?" She laughed. He really had changed. He used to be so serious about anything. She'd never seen him joke around so much. Yeah, they had always had fun, but not the kind that came from mucking about in a childish manner; more the kind of fun that grown ups had. They went to movies and plays, and discussed literature. They had never really been college kids together. She liked it; she decided to carry on what they had started.  
  
"Y'it was!" She exclaimed with false excitement causing them both to laugh and Mark to start coughing again. When he ceased, they decided it was better not make him laugh any more.  
  
"You know, I'm not really more confident. I'm just different around you."  
  
"Just me?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Why?" He looked at her.  
  
"I used to have the hugest crush on you in college." She turned to face him full on, surprise in her eyes.  
  
"What?!!!" He laughed.  
  
"I thought you knew." She shook her head in stunned silence. "Well, everyone else did, I just figured you'd figured it out and didn't want to say anything." Once more, she shook her head.  
  
"You really had a crush on me?"  
  
"Sara, I was in love with you. I was still in love with you the last time I saw you, and for a year after that." Sara, obviously shocked, opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. She couldn't think of anything to say.  
  
"So what happened?" He leaned back against the railings and gave a satisfied smile.  
  
"I met Becky." He said. His smile turned into a grin and his grin into a blush. He ducked his head in embarrassment. * Oh my God, he is so cute.*  
  
"Wow, true love huh?" She gave him a huge grin, he returned it and nodded. "Well that figures." He gave her a questioning look. "The only guy who's ever been in love with me and I didn't even know about it, and now he doesn't even love me anymore." She'd meant this sarcastically, but he seemed to take it to heart.  
  
"Aw, honey I still love you, I just love you in a different way these days. Besides, what do you mean I'm the only guy who's ever been in love with you?" She laughed regretfully.  
  
"Well, they're not exactly lining up are they?"  
  
"That's not true, I can see one guy right now who I don't think hates your company so much."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"A certain ex-professor now boss slash friend of yours who was willing to endure an afternoon with your friends from college, who you probably don't like, and who he likes even less. Willing to sit through Trisha's tactless remarks and Hildi's violinist speaking Russian and pretending to understand. No one does that for a friend. If they weren't my friends I wouldn't do it for you. That kind of thing requires serious amounts of care and dare I say even love?" Sara contemplated what he said, and although she dismissed it out loud; she was still considering it as they left the restaurant.  
  
Grissom stared at her as she drove them back to the lab. She had a pensive look on her face, and she was concentrating extremely hard on the road. * I wonder what Mark said to her on the balcony* When they had finally come back into the restaurant, she had been in a strange mood. She had barely looked at him all meal, and when anyone had spoken to her she had given short answers, and returned to not eating her food as though it had taken huge amounts of concentration to move the Mediterranean vegetables around the plate every two minutes. She hadn't spoken since they had gotten in the car and she showed no signs of doing so. Grissom decided to direct his thoughts to the case he was on; he needed a break from all the things going on in his head right now. Things that so far, for the last three years, he had managed to keep out of his mind.  
  
Sara kept her eyes on the road, pretending to concentrate extremely hard on driving, so as not to provoke any conversation from the man sitting next to him. She didn't think she couldn't handle talking to him right now. Not with the thoughts she was processing and trying desperately to understand. Could he love her? She had always known there was something between her and Grissom, and she'd always assumed it was more of a father daughter thing n his side. She knew how she felt about him, but she had long since resigned herself to the incredibly unsatisfying cliché of unrequited love; never once dreaming that her feelings were more than one sided, that was something she had deemed impossible. She stole a sideways glance at him, he was obviously off in some little world of his own, thinking Grissom things in his own Grissom head that no one could get to; and for once she was glad of it. As she was also glad of the fact that she wasn't working with him today, it would have been too awkward and he would have noticed that she wasn't herself as she was sure he already had. There were only ten minutes left until they got back to the lab, and Sara thanked God that all she had to do was get through those ten minutes and then she could get back to doing something that really would require all of her attention, work. Thank God for work. 


	5. Resolutions

Title: Now and then5  
  
Author: Prawncocktailflavouredcashewnut  
  
Summary: Griss and Sara reflect on how their relationship has changed since they met  
  
Genre: Griss/Sara romance  
  
Author's notes: An incredibly unproductive Friday, hardly got anything done, but at least it's posted. So the penultimate chapter is up, I must say I don't like it nearly as much as the rest, so I hope you will, and if you do please feedback and tell me so it will make me feel better. Hardly any dialogue in this, I couldn't be bothered to make them talk, it takes too long to keep doing the quotation marks, and it's quite hard on the eyes. Hopin' you enjoy – goodnight- Loz.  
  
Disclaimer: They're not mine-I can only dream.  
  
Thanxs: Just wanted to say cheers to Emily for all her enthusiasm, she's only read tiny parts and she still says she loves it! Cheers Em.  
  
Once out of the car, Sara almost ran back into the lab. And once there, she headed straight for the bathroom. This was her thinking place; the one thing that was always there, no matter where she was, was a bathroom. It was the only place she could think, she would stare into the mirror until her face didn't make sense anymore; and only then would the rest of the world make sense. She turned on the tap and rinsed her hands, running them through her hair as she started her ritual. She cleared her mind and started to think about nothing. It wasn't exactly meditation, but it did seem to help her reach a higher state of consciousness that made her see things in a different light; not that she'd ever tell anyone that, it was among the most idiotic things she'd ever done, but she had always done it.  
  
Her face started to become distorted, and a strange calm came over her as she started to reflect on her strange relationship with this man who had been baffling her since the day she had met him, and who, she was sure, would continue to confuse and amaze her until the day when either, one of them died, or she just couldn't take him anymore, and left. Because that's the way it would happen, she would leave. He would never leave; he would never admit that things were too hard to live with, he would just keep on like he always did pretending that nothing had happened, who knows maybe to him, nothing ever did. He was always off in his own world, not noticing what happened to the people around him, maybe he didn't have a clue what went on between them; most of the time, even if he was involved in their conversation he was never really there anyway. Yeah, she would leave, and next time she wouldn't let him stop her, even if he sent her an entire pine forest.  
  
Anyway, back to the point at hand, trying to figure out what was going on. Could what Mark said have had any truth in it?  
  
Fact: Grissom had been the one to approach her in the coffee bar. He offered to walk her to class, and he had sought her out and was the main encouragement to their friendship.  
  
Fact: He had been the one to find her a job when she left college, before Frisco, that meant they would be working closely together.  
  
Fact: Grissom was the one that had hugged her!  
  
Fact: He had made the move after three years to call her, and once again offer her a job where they would be working together.  
  
Fact: Grissom had sent her a plant, which in Grissom language was a declaration of something, what that something was Sara wasn't sure.  
  
Fact: He had gone to lunch with her and her friends, discussed literature with Hildi, and tolerated being left alone in a room with a bunch of people he didn't know for half an hour when he didn't even like being in a room with a bunch of people he did know.  
  
Fact: He had said she looked incredible.  
  
All these things suggested that there was something between them that he knew about, was taking notice of, and was also taking the initiative to do something about.  
  
But then again, there was that side of Grissom that made her just want to go home and kill herself. The part of him that made her feel like she could stand in the middle of the break room, bleeding and screaming her guts out, and he wouldn't notice. She laughed as an image came into her head as she pictured Grissom walking in to find her in that state, he'd probably just say hi and ask what was up before heading for the coffee machine and then walking back out. It was time to examine the rest of the evidence.  
  
Fact: She had been discussing Grissom the moment he happened to walk in to the coffee shop, probably making him feel obligated to talk to her.  
  
Fact: He had been bugged uncontrollably by her to get her a summer job at his lab, before she had to move to Frisco.  
  
Fact: It had taken her threatening to quit to get him to even show that he knew she existed let alone send her a plant. Not exactly a sign of someone who was in love with you.  
  
Fact: He didn't know she was a vegetarian, even though he had been there the night they had done the "pig thing."  
  
Fact: Even though on occasion he did happen to notice she was there, and was sometimes even interested in what she had to say, he mostly didn't care what she felt, or what she did as long as it didn't get in the way of her work. * I could be a day stripper for all he cares, as long as I show up to work on time. *  
  
Fact: Grissom was cryptic, she was rarely sure if what he said actually meant to him what it would mean to other people, or whether he actually spoke an entirely different language, only using the same words as in English. When he said he was interested in beauty since he met her, it didn't necessarily mean anything to him, just a simple coincidence that he had been interested in beauty for so long, and around that time she just happened to show up in his life.  
  
Fact: Grissom was Grissom. Even if, by chance Grissom did feel something for her, more than the general disgust he felt for most people he knew, then he would never do anything about it. He was far too practical, or logical, or something-al to act upon said feelings. He made a point of never getting involved with anything, especially not if it was complicated, as most things were. So nothing would ever happen, nothing more than what usually went on – her incredibly obvious adoration of him, and his subtly, if not sometimes rudely ignoring it. Things would carry on as usual, and she wouldn't venture to change that. With that all settled, Sara once again rinsed her hands, patted water onto her face, fixed herself a smile and walked out of the bathroom. Things made sense again.  
  
Grissom sat in his office, turning it over in his mind. Contemplating what he should do about the situation in which he found himself. To love, and to know that you love, is to know that you are doomed, that you can never again live as a normal person. Because once you have loved, a true love, you can never again gain that love once you lose it. So you will spend the rest of your life in search of that which you have lost, but that search will be in vain, and you hate yourself for losing what you had, and what you will never have again. *So what to do, I wonder * Grissom took off his glasses and rubbed his nose, he was thinking intensely on one subject, and when he did that, he got a headache. * If you don't want to spend your whole life regretting something you've lost, then don't lose it *  
  
Grissom sat up in his chair, replacing his glasses onto the bridge of his nose. He started searching through the drawers in the desk, shoving everything around manically. He caught his finger on something and let out a groan, he pulled it put of the drawer and started to suck at it, still searching with his other hand. Suddenly he stopped; he had found it. He pulled it out and set it on the desk in front of him. A long black velvet box with a purple ribbon tied around it. He opened it and ran his hand along the silk lining before pulling off the top layer of cloth to reveal the bracelet. He had brought it the week he had heard about the job in Vegas; meaning to give it to her the night before he left. They had gone out to dinner, and he had ordered her favorite wine. God she had looked good; her eyes were bright and she smelled of the ocean – it was a fragrance she often wore for special occasions. They had gotten through dinner, talking about the usual things they talked about, science, politics. He had been all set up to present her with the bracelet, and then….. he had chickened out. So he had kept the gift for three years; he had kept it in his desk never looking at it, but always comforted by the fact that it was there. He had deliberated many times over whether or not to give it to her; finally deciding not to, and he had put it back in his desk. But after today, Mark and Sara's exchanges, her silence on the way home, and her keenness to get as far away from him as possible as fast as she could, Grissom knew he had to do something to get Sara back, to get their relationship back to the way it was before he started going skitzzo. And this is exactly how he would do it. He closed the box, and ran his fingers along the velvet, first smoothing it and then rubbing it up the other way, causing the material to stand on end. He had been doing this for a good two minutes when a shadow fell over his desk; he looked up to see who was blocking his doorway, and there she stood.  
  
"Griss?" 


	6. Reflections

Title: Now and Then  
  
Author: Prawncocktailflavouredcashewnut  
  
Summary: Sara and Griss actually do reflect on how their relationship has changed!  
  
Genre: Griss/Sara romance  
  
Author's notes: Well it's finished. Now I'm all sad, I've got nothing to do anymore. Sorry it took so long for the last chapter, but I was still deliberating over the end, in fact I still am, so I hope you like this. I don't think there's anything to add, the only thing I'm not sure of is would Grissom have a locker? I know he has his office, but I wasn't sure so I just put it in there. Also, I know nothing about the Aztec civilization, or whether they even had amethysts, so sorry if I'm completely off base here, which I usually am. Have fun with it!!! LOZ.  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned these people, would you be reading this instead of watching it happen on T.V.? Honestly?  
  
Dedication: Once more, to Emily. SING GODDAMMIT SING!!!!!  
  
  
  
"Griss?" She asked again, he had been staring up at her for a good three minutes, but he wasn't really staring at her, he was staring past her into the distance. "Griss?" The third time she asked it seemed to bring him out of his trance, he blinked and shook his head before finally acknowledging her presence.  
  
"Hey." He seemed surprised to see her,  
  
"I just wanted to give you the final report on the body dump." She held up the file, and when he didn't move to take it she dropped it on the desk. "O.K." She shoved her hands in her pockets and nodded, she turned to go when she heard the chair scrape behind her, she turned back around to witness him getting up, crossing the room, and approaching her. He stood in front of her; almost close enough for her to smell him.  
  
"What do you do in the mornings?" She rolled her eyes.  
  
"Grissom, I just came in here to give the case report, if you're gonna give me the hobby speech again I'm outta here." She ran a hand through her hair and let out a sigh.  
  
"What? No, I'm just wondering what you do when you go home, do you sleep?"  
  
"If I'm tired."  
  
"And if you're not?"  
  
"Then I sit on my couch and read a book." He nodded and moved back towards his desk. He picked up the box and put it in his rucksack.  
  
"Do you eat breakfast?" He looked back up at her, her face was a mixture of confusion and mere amusement, what was possessing him to ask all these questions, she wondered.  
  
"Sometimes, yes, when I'm hungry, then I eat breakfast."  
  
"Are you hungry today?"  
  
"What?" He sat back down and leaned back into his chair.  
  
"Are you hungry today?" She opened her mouth, then closed it again. She let out a breath and shook her head.  
  
"I just ate, like a half hour ago, as I recall so did you." He considered this, his index finger to his mouth.  
  
"I didn't mean right now." She looked at him exasperated.  
  
"Well when did you mean?"  
  
"In the morning, at breakfast time."  
  
"Griss, it's three o'clock in the afternoon, how am I supposed to know if I'll be hungry in thirteen hours?" This man was incredibly confusing, and as far as she was concerned this conversation had no point. She moved to leave again.  
  
"In the morning, if you're hungry, come to mine for breakfast O.K.?" She looked him straight in the eye, searching for something, though what she was expecting to find she wasn't sure, when she found nothing but politeness in him, she just nodded her head and walked out of the room. * What is wrong with him this afternoon*  
  
*  
  
13 hours later  
  
*  
  
"So are you hungry now?" She gasped and turned around to see him standing inches away from her reaching for the coffee pot. She jumped at his closeness, shook her head at him and let out a noise of disbelief. He poured himself a cup of coffee and turned to face her leaning back against the bench, sipping his drink, then deciding it was too hot and putting it down.  
  
"You know what, I think I am."  
  
"Good." He gave a short nod and moved in the direction of the locker room. She picked up his drink and followed him, taking a gulp of fairly disgusting mildly caffeinated hot water as she went.  
  
"You're going to have to tell me how to get to your apartment." She stood over him as he bent down to retrieve his stuff from his locker. * Why does he always take the bottom locker, he has to make things difficult for himself. * He placed his belongings on the bench and, sitting down, looked up at her.  
  
"You can just follow me." He told her as though it was completely obvious, which of course it was. She blinked at this. * God, how stupid can you get S? *  
  
"O.K." She mumbled, embarrassed, as he stood up. He gave her a short half smile, and a short chuckle.  
  
"Ready?" She nodded and held her arms towards the door, indicating that she would follow him.  
  
Sara pulled into the parking lot of Grissom's apartment block. * Swanky. * She got out of the car, locked everything and then surveyed her surroundings. Grissom smiled as he watched her actions. The same thing he, or any other trained CSI would do, observe everything as closely as you can, don't miss a thing, it may be important.  
  
"Sara." He walked over to her; it wasn't until he was finally standing next to her that she acknowledged his presence.  
  
"Mm?" She barely managed to look at him before turning back to her original task.  
  
"My home is not a crime scene." He turned and walked away from her, twirling his car keys on his right index finger as he went. Sara stood open mouthed for a few seconds before finally jolting into movement and running after her boss. When she caught him up, she moved into a walking pace beside him and ducked her head.  
  
"I didn't even realize I was doing it." She shoved her hands in her pockets and kicked at a piece of stray gravel on the floor.  
  
"You never do." She raised her head to find him staring straight ahead.  
  
"Never?" His eyes met hers.  
  
"For as long as I've known you, the first thing you do when you go somewhere new, you scrutinize every last stone of your surroundings, memorizing them. That's how I knew you'd be a great CSI." She smiled at this, but it was a confused smile,  
  
"You didn't even know I wanted to be a CSI back then, I didn't even know I wanted to be a CSI back then."  
  
"I know, but I still knew you would be." They reached his door, and he let them in. Once again Sara started to take in her surroundings. Everything was clean; the kitchen surfaces shone like they were a light source themselves. There was a collection of butterflies spread across one wall, and a bunch of books on forensics on a shelf at the end of the wall. His sofas were black leather, and behind one shone the blue light of an aquarium. She turned around to find him staring at her.  
  
"I was doing it again wasn't I?" He nodded and she let out a long breath. "So boss," she started as she followed him into the kitchen, "what's for breakfast?" she bounced along behind him trying to lighten up the mood. She leaned against the counter as he went to the fridge and peered inside.  
  
"Eggs?" He turned his head so as to see her answer, she nodded to him and he proceeded to gather his ingredients and place them all on the counter top beside him. She watched him work and they spent the next few minutes in silence. When they had sat down at the table and were beginning to tuck in, she finally broke it.  
  
"So, why did you ask me here Griss?" she took a bite of her food and then let out a surprised yelp, "These are really good!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide.  
  
"Hide your surprise well don't ya?" He shook his head and went back to his food, she laughed sheepishly and took a sip of her juice.  
  
"Sorry, it's just that I didn't know you could cook. But boy, Grissom, you make eggs better than I make eggs!" He smiled at her; she did make really good eggs. "Anyway, don't deviate, I asked you why I was here so don't attempt to change the subject."  
  
"You were the one who brought up my cooking skills."  
  
"Grissom." He saw the warning look in her eyes and the whining tone in her voice.  
  
"Well you did." He mumbled. "You're here this morning because I felt like having breakfast with an old friend." He stated, she rolled her eyes at him.  
  
"Not acceptable."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Grissom, I'm not that stupid. I've been in Vegas for almost two years now, and you've never once even suggested we go out for breakfast, let alone invite me to your place, and your answer is simply not acceptable from a man like you. Now give me the real answer." He sighed; he hated it when she got determined, even though he had to admit he kind of liked it as well.  
  
"I wanted to talk about old times."  
  
"Old times? Grissom, do we have old times?" she had stopped eating, and was now looking at him with an extremely confused look on her face.  
  
"Yes, of course we have old times. When you were in college, they are our old times, and these are our new times."  
  
"Whatever." She returned to her food. "What in our 'old times' did you wish to talk to me about?"  
  
"The night before I left for Vegas. Do you remember it?"  
  
"Yeah," She let out a laugh. " you insisted on going out for dinner, you said there was something to tell me, and then you never did."  
  
"Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."  
  
"You're finally gonna tell me what you never got around to?"  
  
"Maybe, if I get around to it. Are you done?" He gestured towards her plate, he received a nod as he began to clear the table, she got up and walked out onto the balcony. He dumped the dishes in the sink and followed her with two glasses of wine in tow. She heard him approach her and as he handed her a glass she spoke to him, her gaze outwards to the sunrise.  
  
" You know I haven't really changed much since college."  
  
"Yes you have, it wouldn't hurt you to get out more though, have a bit more of a life." She shifted so that they were facing each other and drew in a long breath.  
  
"Do you remember Woody?" Grissom searched his brain.  
  
"No, not as I can think of."  
  
"He was a hippy, used to come to your lectures all drugged up and snore through most of them." She searched his face for confirmation of this memory, but received only a shake of the head no. "Well he told me once that life is something to do when you can't get to sleep." Grissom chuckled and nodded.  
  
"But you see the thing is, you never sleep, so why don't you have a life?" She exaggeratedly shrugged and laughed at his puzzled expression.  
  
"Grissom, when is it going to get through to you that I actually do like my life? People bug me, I like science, so I read about science. I don't go out because I don't like crowded places or too many people. I'm not unhappy, so quit buggin' me about it O.K.?"  
  
"O.K. I'm sorry." She looked over at him, then back out over the strip.  
  
"No you're not." He muttered something under his breath.  
  
"Do you ever stop contradicting me?"  
  
"No." She turned to him grinning. "Not since the first day we met." Her grin faded and she released a sigh into the night air.  
  
"A lot's changed since then. Everything's different." He gave her a curious look.  
  
"What's changed?"  
  
"Well, we were friends back then."  
  
"We're friends now."  
  
"No we're not Griss, not like we used to be. You used to tell me stuff, about what you were thinking. What was happening in your life. Now you barely bother to tell me about your research." She looked at him and she could see the hurt in his eyes as he looked away from her.  
  
"I talk to you." He said it quietly, almost to himself.  
  
"When?"  
  
"I'm talking to you now aren't I?"  
  
"No." He looked at her again, his face now displaying confusion. "Talk to me Grissom. Why am I here? You asked me to come to Vegas, and you have been nothing but distant to me since the day I got here. That's not how you used to be, you used to tell me things." She turned away from him now, leaning sideways onto the wall. "Like I said, everything's different now." She felt his hand on her shoulder, but shrugged it off.  
  
"Just because everything's different doesn't mean anything has changed." His voice was soft; almost a whisper, and then she heard him walking away from her back into the apartment. Grissom walked into his living room searching for where he had put his bag. He spied it in the far corner, next to the fish tank. He moved over to it and extracted the box from the front pocket. He was bent down over it and he let out a breath, turning back so he could see Sara, he deliberated over what he was about to do, it would change everything, and he wasn't sure it was for the best. If he told her, what would she expect from him? What would happen to their friendship? What would Catherine say? Actually he knew what Catherine would say, so that didn't really matter. * No way, don't start to chicken out again Grissom; you are doing this. * With one final puff of breath he made his way back out to where she was standing.  
  
"Do you have to be so goddamn cryptic about everything?" She took another sip of her wine. "What's that?" She asked, nodding at the box he held in his hand.  
  
"This? This is something beautiful." She let out a laugh that sounded almost spiteful.  
  
"What is it with you and this beauty thing?"  
  
"It's your fault." She looked at him, her face a mixture of confusion and annoyance.  
  
"Would you please explain yourself?" He nodded; he owed her an explanation.  
  
"For a long time, I thought beauty was merely physical, something that society decided on and there was no room for individual opinion. Most of my life was spent watching people being picked on because they weren't one of "the beautiful people." This annoyed me. And because I believed that beauty was something that belonged to tall blonde girls who liked to flirt and maybe sleep with everyone they met, it didn't interest me. Then one day, I walked into a coffee bar and saw a young girl, with a group of friends, talking about me. Now the fact that she was talking about me interested me in her because I think I'm a pretty dull person, but this girl spoke of me with enthusiasm and excitement. That drew me to her, before I even saw her face. But when I did see her face, when she finally turned around, her eyes were bright and sparkling and she had a freshness in her that mad me want to never stop looking at her. And in that moment I saw what beauty was. It's not about the physical, although don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with you in that department." He amended upon seeing the look upon her face. " But it's not about the way a person looks, beauty is about being able to see something in a person that makes you want to be with them for every second of every day, for the rest of the days you will live. Beauty is when you look into that person's eyes and you want to know what they are thinking, and you know that they know what you are thinking. A person's beauty is not always apparent in the way they dress, but rather the way they are. I think beauty is in a way a person's mind works the way they think and the way they turn those thoughts into actions. And you Miss Sidle, have a beautiful mind. That's why I became interested in beauty."  
  
For a while, Sara didn't say anything, she just shook her head, opening and closing her mouth a few times, squinting her eyes and making short, exasperated noises was just about all she could manage. She took a huge gulp of her drink, almost downing it all, and ran a hand over her head, skimming her hair. She wiped her eyes and rubbed her cheek, as though she were suddenly very tired.  
  
" The way people's minds work huh?" She finally managed to splurt out as he poured her another drink. He smiled and nodded.  
  
"Of course, some of it has to do with the aesthetic side. That's where this comes in." He picked up the box from the edge of the balcony where he had placed it while busying himself with the drinks. He opened it to reveal the bracelet. Tiny delicate chain links set with amethysts of different sizes. Sara gasped as Grissom held it up and began to undo the clasp.  
  
"The Aztecs held the amethyst as the most precious of all stones. They used it to confirm a marriage, a sign of love, friendship and eternity – hold your hand out – and they gave it to young girls on their thirteenth birthdays, or the equivalent, as a coming of age present. Once they were presented with an amethyst, they were available for marriage and work." He finished fastening the clasp over her wrist and stood back to admire it. She raised her arm and turned it round so as to see it from every angle.  
  
"For such a precious stone they sure used it a lot." She lowered her arm again and looked at him. "Thank you, but I'm not sure I understand. What is this for?"  
  
"I brought it the day before I left for Vegas. I wanted to tell you something, but then I couldn't. I was too afraid, so I never gave it to you."  
  
"What did you want to tell me?" She looked at him wide eyed, and genuinely oblivious to what he was about to say.  
  
"That no matter how many years may pass, or how many fights we have, or how many migraines you give me, you will still always be the last person I see before I go to sleep, and the first person I think of when I wake up. And the only person I think of all day." He smiled at her, and she returned his smile, although there was a tear in her eye. She looked upwards and then laughed.  
  
"What?" He asked her.  
  
"Do you realize that you've said more to me in the last twenty minutes, than you have collectively over the last year and a half?" He laughed with her and pulled her into a hug, gently kissing the top of her head. She allowed herself to be wrapped up in him as she took in everything he had just said. It was all incredibly un-Grissom, but it didn't seem strange. It didn't even feel weird hugging him, thinking this she wrapped her arms around him tighter.  
  
Grissom sighed and smiled as he felt her arms tighten around him.  
  
"Grissom?" Her muffled voice vibrated into his chest.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Thankyou." He pulled back from her and looked into her eyes.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For thinking I'm beautiful." He smiled.  
  
"It's not really a matter of opinion sweetheart." He told her as he pulled her close to him again. * Sweetheart? I think I can deal with that. * Sara thought as she buried herself in his chest. She allowed herself to drift into a kind of daze, when all of a sudden a terrible thought crossed her mind.  
  
"Oh god." She uttered. Pulling back and running a hand through her hair.  
  
"What?" She looked at him, mortified.  
  
"What am I gonna say to Greg?"  
  
  
  
*  
  
The End  
  
*  
  
God please don't kill me if you didn't like it!!! 


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